I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
