Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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