do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
