put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
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Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
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I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying