Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
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Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
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On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.