A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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