i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.