RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
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she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.