I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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