She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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