Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
