i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
