In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
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