My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
