apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
