update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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