All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
