fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
