She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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