if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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