I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
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