i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
