Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
