He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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