His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
