it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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