So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
high people should be assigned attendants
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
