So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
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i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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