the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
