I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
my sisters under your porch take her home
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?