similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
