i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
