Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
