I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
