this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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