Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
