My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
