I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
