my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
