toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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