Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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