Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
