Im at strip club and am horny
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
