i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
