I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
