okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
