I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize