Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
The uberlube is also flammable
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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