My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I could make wine with my vomit
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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