He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
