she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
