He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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