My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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