ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
