Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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