Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I need to stop coming to work sober
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
