so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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