Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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