Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize