Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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