threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
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When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
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I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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