apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
