She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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