I need help removing her.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
