There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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