he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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