OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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